Week 11, 237 lbs.

Ouch!

What happened, you ask?  Technology happened, that's what!

Apparently, the digital scale the center has been using since I started the program started malfunctioning last week, showing greater results than what people had actually achieved!  Instead of being down 6 lbs. last week, I think I was only actually down 2-3 lbs. and it was about the same for this week.  (Insert disappointed sigh here.)  My total progress is 51 lbs., which is still something to be proud of.

Ideal Protein White Cheddar Ridges
photo from the Ideal Protein website
My favorite restricted snack.

So I didn't actually gain this week, even though I am showing a bigger number on the scale than I did last week. 

I wasn't expecting a great loss this week anyway.  I have a medical issue that's hindering my progress: causing water retention and monster cravings and last night, I went off the program.  I could blame the whole thing on the health issue, but to be honest I was pushing boundaries and seeing what I could get away with.  I ate not one but two extra (restricted) IP snacks! 

That kind of thinking is silly.  I am not dieting because some authority figure forced me on the program.  I am doing this for myself.  It was my decision to go on this program and I am doing this to reclaim my health and live a more vibrant, meaningful life. Rebelling against the program doesn't hurt anyone but me - and keeps me on phase I longer!

What the hell was I thinking?

So today, I put the self-destructive tendencies back in their box and am back on track.  I am a successful dieter once again!  Like I've said before, each day is a fresh start and today is all that matters.  I can't undo yesterday's transgressions, all I can do in the present moment is avoid making the same lapse in judgement.

I have an appt. with the doctor this week and hope the problem I am having is something that can be easily fixed - because let me tell you, three weeks of PMS-like symptoms is not fun and makes dieting even MORE challenging.  The doc did tell me on my last visit that the issues I am having are due to my excessive weight, so she'll be impressed to see a smaller me!  Knowing my weight is the cause of the problem also makes me more resolved to stay the course and continue losing weight!

On a positive note, I went for a long overdue haircut.  My hairdresser has lost 130 lbs. with a different program and looks fantastic.  We exchanged weight loss stories and observations.  Among the things we have in common is the surprise when we look into the mirror and see different facial features.  The change in body contours takes you by surprise - especially when you catch an unexpected glimpse of yourself when passing a store window or mirror.  We both admitted touching our collar bones as if they were something completely unexpected - we were both so heavy that the contours of our collar bones were forgotten under a mass of fat. 

After talking about what to do with my mop of unruly, scraggly curls, she put the stylist cape around my neck.  Instead of having chins and jowls all the way down to the collar of the cape, I was shocked to see a long, graceful neck. 

I know I have mentioned the reappearance of my neck before, but when you're in the stylist's chair you are stuck staring at yourself in a big mirror for a long time.  From that vantage point I was really able to take it all in and study the changes.  I have big green eyes where puffy slits used to be.  My lips are bigger, fuller! My shoulders aren't as wide as they used to be. 

I couldn't stop staring at myself.... with a sense of wonder!

So regardless of what the scale said this week, I am having amazing results and am happy with where I am today.... NEXT week I'll conquer the 55 lb. mark - and I'll do it by sticking to the plan!!