Friday, September 20, 2013

Week 66, No Weigh In

Here I am on the runway, modeling casual wear!
 My much-anticipated modeling debut went off without a hitch!  Not only did I get a standing ovation, but the folks from Wilson Chiropractic, where I weigh in every week, presented me with a dozen long-stemmed yellow roses.  It was an overwhelming, but fun experience.
Every woman should have moments in her life where she feels like a fairytale princess.  I had one of those moments during the style show.  I stepped off the runway feeling empowered and ready to shed the last few pounds of fat I have yet to drop.

It has been a rough week.  On Monday and Wednesday, I had to travel 60 miles away with my husband for assorted procedures and doctors appointments.  The style show was on Tuesday.  Tonight, Friday, is a fund-raising dinner for the art center where I work.

What I looked like before the diet.

There hasn't been much downtime lately, and yes, I'm exhausted.... but I can't help but wonder what shape I'd be in emotionally and physically if I hadn't dropped all that weight over the past year.

I'm taking things one day at a time, going easy on myself and focusing on keeping life as simple as possible.  I am also focusing on blessings and important things, like the love I feel for the people around me. 

I have less tolerance for negativity than I've had in the past.  I have a job that keeps me in the public eye and I deal with a lot of different types of people in the course of a day. I'm embracing the positive, upbeat people around me and basking in their glow and reminding myself how their presence in my life makes me feel.

There was a time when the complaints came easily out of my mouth and I found very little to celebrate in life.  I didn't have many friends back then.

Now, with everything that's going on in my life, I am aware, more than ever, how exhausting and irritating negative people are to be around.  I find myself avoiding the people in my life who have nothing nice to say, because I don't have the emotional reserves to be around them.

Over a year ago, I made the decision to be a source of love and encouragement to those around me.  I became aware that my negativity, depression and pessimism were manifestations of being too self-involved and were running people out of my life in droves.  Honestly, who (besides me) is going to be interested in my everyday gripes?
Once I directed my focus outside of myself and started connecting to others in a positive way, my life changed.... it not only made the success in weight loss possible, but it made many other wonderful things happen, too!  I have more friends than ever, I am more successful in my job, and even my bank account is in better shape!

If all you think about is yourself and how you're feeling, your world is a very small place.  Once you start opening yourself to the world around you, and approach it with love, your world expands, miracles occur, you see the beauty in ordinary things. 

And it's my positive attitude and my willingness to find blessings in the midst of chaos that will carry me through the battle my husband and I are facing.

So here's my challenge for you.  When you find yourself complaining about something - be it the diet you're on, your mother-in-law or the weather - STOP IT!  Stop yourself mid-complaint and acknowledge something to be grateful for.  I dare you. 

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Week 65, 168 lbs.

In the midst of chaos, I've been able to maintain.  The number above may be higher than the last one I recorded, but it's only a few fractions of a pound that I'm up (I round up the decimals on the scale).  Considering the fact that I've been taking my husband to more doctor appointments than I'd care to count and that I'm not always around diet-friendly food, I think I'm doing pretty well.

The style show in which I'll be modeling will be next Tuesday. (Imagine!  Me!  A Model!!) After that I can decide if this is where I want to stay with my weight or if I want to reduce further.  In all honesty, I don't think I'm "there" yet.  I LOVE being a size 12 and love the cute clothes in my closet, which is why I think I've held fast at this size for several months, even when I've been trying to lose.  However, my fat ratio is too close to "borderline" for comfort.

I'm going on longer bike rides on the weekends, with an average moving speed around 15 mph (top speed is 27 mph and climbing), so I don't think it will be long before I see a fat ratio that makes me happy.  Considering what I was able to do a little over a year ago, this is an outright miracle.

I feel so good.  I feel powerful, strong and kind of cute!  A little over a year ago I was depressed, crippled and feeling ugly.  I have come so far - lightyears - from who I used to be.  I need to keep that in mind when life starts getting rough. 

I need to remember what got me here.  The most powerful tools I've had in my arsenal are my willingness to change, an open mind and a positive attitude.  I didn't get here by whining about being on a diet. I didn't get here by complaining about the foods I had to eat or the fact that my lifestyle had to change.  I got here by loving myself enough to change the way I look at myself.  I got here by loving myself enough to change bad habits that were slowly killing me.

I need to remember that I can do anything - survive any circumstance - because I am a strong, beautiful child of God.  And so are you.

I overheard someone talk about deprivation recently. Deprivation isn't a diet.  A diet is just a tool, something you choose to do.  I'll tell you what deprivation is.

Deprivation is not being able to walk because you are too fat for your own knees.
Deprivation is hiding from the world because you hate the way you look.
Deprivation is spending your life wishing you looked or felt differently.
Deprivation is wasting your life in front of a television or computer screen because you are too weak/sick to engage with other living creatures.
Deprivation is being excluded from activities because people think you are too fat to join in.
Deprivation is the embarrassment you feel when you see someone who knew you "back when" and you're now a size 26.


These are all things that deprived ME of living a happy, healthy life.

You are worth so much more than a life of deprivation.  You are worth this effort.  Getting healthy is a gift you're giving yourself, it is not a punishment. This diet is only a short season in the grand scheme of your life.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  Believe me, when you get to where I am standing right now, you will know that what I am speaking is the truth.

Don't torpedo your efforts before you even get started by complaining and making you and those around you miserable.  You have a choice.  You can get off the diet and embrace the size you are now.  You can find a diet or health routine that fits into your lifestyle better than the one you've chosen.  OR you can put on your big girl panties, stop grumbling and get on with it.

The power is completely and totally yours.