Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Week 6, 37% Body Fat!! Crap!!

I'm ready for my close-up!
Yes.  I know. The body fat ratio is up!  An hour before weigh-in I was at a 98 year old's birthday party with a bunch of women over the age of 70, all of whom were in a party mood. (I want to grow up to be that lively at that age!)

The 98 year old woman who was having the birthday was the closest thing to a grandmother I have and is one of the dearest people in the world to me.  She's one of my role models, so I allowed myself to take a break from the diet for this meal and embrace the celebration whole-heartedly.  (Who wants to be a wet-blanket dieter at those kind of occasions?)

While I ate a salad, I did enjoy a couple of glasses of white wine to toast a woman I admire.

So, of course, an hour after the meal my numbers on the scale would be all messed up!  I'm thinking I'll see a lot more improvement next week, especially since I am fitting into my skinny jeans again!

Some crazy things are happening in my life.  For one, the salon that does my hair asked me to model my new hairdo as part of an ad campaign they're doing in the local papers.  I have never - NEVER - been very comfortable in front of the camera, so the experience took me outside of my comfort zone (which is good for me).  After a few awkward shots, I finally relaxed and had fun with the session.  I can't wait to see how the ads turn out!

For a girl who was the class nerd in elementary and junior high and someone who spent too many years in an obese body, these little experiences have me re-defining the words I use to describe myself.  For too long I saw myself as inconsequential and invisible, someone who didn't have much to give to the world.  Over the past couple of years I've worked hard to see my own value and see myself as a strong, capable woman.  I started on this journey to gain better health and inspire others to get out there and make positive changes in their own lives.

Another word I used to describe myself was "ugly."  This is a word I used on myself from the time I was in first grade.  I look back at old photos of myself and realize I wasn't an ugly kid, but back then you couldn't have told me any different. As I grew older I saw my ugliness as something I had to live with.  Some people have handicaps, mine was ugliness.  As long as I held the word "ugly" next to my identity, it kept me from being who I was destined to be.  I settled for less in life because I refused to recognize my own beauty, my divinity, my worth.

When I started calling myself a "beautiful child of God" a year and a half ago, it changed my life.  Those words ignited a spark in my soul that has changed my life a thousand fold and what was once a spark is now a all-out bonfire.  I feel better about myself, I live a better life and enjoy better relationships with those around me.  Now that I see my own beauty and worth, I appreciate the worth and divinity of those around me.  Like the Bible says, "Love thy neighbor as thy self."  You have to have a love for yourself before you can open your heart to others.

Experiences like the photo shoot only help enforce the new way I see myself. 

You and I, dear reader, are gorgeous, amazing creations!  Embrace who you are! Love and appreciate yourself as you are right now!  Miracles will happen!


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