Friday, March 8, 2013

The Opinions of Others...

o·pin·ion [uh-pin-yuh-n] 

1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2.  a personal view,attitude, or appraisal.

I'm a big fan of Wayne Dyer and the wisdom he shares with the world. One of the things I've heard him say that stuck with me is, "It is my intention to live my life independently of the good opinion of others."

Those words rang deeply in my soul the first time I heard them.  I heard another quote, and have used it on this blog before and it says, "Your opinion of me is none of my business."
There are millions - gazillions - of opinions out there about any given subject.  Opinions are personal to the people who have them.  They are judgements that are seldom based in fact.  Every person I know has a different opinion of me - some good, some not so good.

Choosing to give value to someone else's opinion of me when I was young is part of what put me on the path to obesity.  When a kid in my class called me ugly, my second grade teacher called me hopeless and stupid or a friend's little brother called me fat (when I wasn't) at the dinner table I internalized those words, held them close to my aching heart.

I also tied myself in knots trying to please others and make people like me.  That approach to life, along with a battered self esteem are what manifested in binges, sneak eating and overeating in general.

Yesterday an acquaintance told me I was getting too thin and that if I kept on this diet I would make myself sick. She added that I was just going to "dry up and blow away."  I responded with, "Thank you for your concern but I am just fine." 

As I walked away from the lady, someone who overheard the exchange pulled me aside and said, "Keep doing what you're doing.  I think you're looking great."
Two people looking at me at the same time had extremely different opinions of my weight loss and how I'm doing.

What's important is how *I* feel I am doing.  I'm the person holding all the facts.  I know what my weight is, what my fat percentage is and how I feel physically.   I know I am not weak or emaciated.  I also know how truly heavy I used to be and that I am very close to achieving a healthy weight for my own frame.

This is why I've said on this blog - time and again - that the most important step I took in reclaiming a healthy body was falling in love with myself.  I like who I am, regardless of my size.  As a result I trust my own judgment and am treating myself with respect. (And no, this doesn't mean I am full of myself or all puffed up with a super-ego.  I just like who I am.)  My own knowledge of the truth about myself will keep me from doubting my journey when someone says I'm in danger of drying up.

Trust and believe in yourself and you'll be able to achieve the miraculous!

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