|Me, at my heaviest in 2007|
I dropped a pound - a single pound - during the past week. A lot of dieters get discouraged over "only losing a pound." The folks who get discouraged get too wrapped up in the number on the scale, when there's a lot more going on than just weight.
Getting back into the flow of the diet has not been as easy as I thought it would be. I had forgotten about the crazy cravings in the first two weeks and how the urge to snack will grab a ahold of you and become an obsession. I think there's a bit of pride involved, too.
There's a part of me that says, "Oh come on! You lost the weight. You're still smaller than you used to be and you look good! Rest on your laurels and live it up!" That's my blasted ego talking... and that's the part of me that allowed me to gain 30 pounds over the past few months. This is not the voice I should be listening to.
My soul says I'm better than that, that I have a right to a healthy, fit body and that I am completely capable of achieving any goal I set for myself.
There are other voices I need to work on tuning out. The voices of others, people who care about me. The people who warn me that my "empty fat cells are going to be plotting against me to fill up again" and that I'll have to diet the rest of my life. I also have to tune out the people who say I'm thin enough and I should stop dieting.
The truth is, the numbers don't lie. I'm back in the obesity zone. My fat ratio is much higher than it should be. The mirror doesn't lie, either. I see the "muffin top" above the waist of my jeans where it wasn't before and I realize I still have some work to do.
I don't want to be that girl who dropped a ton of weight, only to gain it all back. That's the girl who whines that diets never work, that the weight just comes back. The difference between me and "that girl" is that I'm willing to change. Going back to the old way of eating will not only add to my weight, but it will make me old before my time.
So, I am going to hang on to my resolve to get my body back to its happy zone until these nasty early diet cravings go away (It took about two weeks the last time - I'm halfway there), achieve a 20-something % body mass, and keep my mind open enough to learn and embrace a new way of eating! Today, I promise myself to go through all phases of this program so I have the knowledge necessary to "make it" out in the real world. I don't think it's impossible.
I deserve a healthy, long life with a body that feels good.... and so do you!