The weight and fat are both up, due to two factors. One issue is the pending arrival of my monthly visitor, which always shows an increase in my fat ratio. The other was a couple of celebratory margaritas with my husband on his birthday, two days before weigh-in. I had cake, too!
The margaritas were the first hard alcohol I've had in ages and I realized something about my body chemistry: Even though I didn't get drunk or over-indulge, the hard stuff slows me down, way down!
The morning after the birthday party I decided to hop on my bike and go for a long ride and work off some of the previous day's excess. I was hoping for a ride like last weeks, a long ramble in the country with some challenging hills. The earlier ride was a lot of fun and I amazed myself by flying on two wheels, going about 17 mph along one of the local highways.
This past week's long weekend ride was torturous. I couldn't get above 10 mph. I couldn't climb hills the way I had earlier... each hill was long and agonizing, instead of an empowering challenge. My body was running on sub-standard fuel.... and I was extremely aware of it.
Instead of going the 17-20 miles I was planning to go, I came home after the longest 12 miles I've ever ridden. Not fun.
I've been anxious to get back on the bike but haven't had much time. A close family member is facing some scary medical stuff and there hasn't been much time for exercising this week.
In the past when I've been worried or hurting over an issue, I went to food and drink to either numb what I was feeling or as a source of comfort. The challenge right now is finding a healthier way to deal with emotions and worries. When I find myself vegetating or going to the cupboard for a snack when I'm not hungry I need to do what I did in the early weeks of dieting. I need to find something to keep my hands busy: Vacuum the bedroom, work on a hobby, weed a patch of the garden - anything but non-constructive wallowing in worry with a snack in my hand.
My family member is having a procedure done on my regular weigh-in day. I may not have a weigh-in next week, but I will stop sometime during the week to post some kind of update.
You have come so far, and I know what you are facing right now is not going to be easy. But you are tougher. You're the new and improved Lanza and you've worked damn hard..so keep on those rails sister. You are going to need to be as fit as you can possibly be to face what is ahead. You have all the tools and you are stronger now and youve made a promise to yourself to be good to yourself and to never go back to that unhappy, hurting person you were a year ago. Im holding you to that. I believe in you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sharon!! I needed that and I believe in me, too!
DeleteBy the way, I'm quoting you in my next post!