|My bike at the local produce market. Another miracle: biking|
instead of driving when I go grocery or veggie shopping!
Miracles keep happening. These miracles might not seem like much to someone else, but each time they happen I have to pause, smile to myself and give thanks at how far I've come and how much I've changed.
For example: This weekend my mom and I had a lot of fun shopping in a ladies' boutique in Fredericksburg, Texas. This might not be a big deal to many folks, but to me, it's amazing that the two of us can go clothes shopping together and have a good time. We laughed, we tried on tons of clothes, we enjoyed each other's company and there wasn't an unpleasant moment.
Some people may ask, what's the big deal? Where's the miracle in that? Well, let me tell you! From the time I was in upper elementary I HATED clothes shopping. I was full of self-hate, even back then. I hated my body. I thought I was ugly and fat. I wanted to look like the popular girls in school and never quite measured up. Pair that with my mom's firm idea of what her little girl should wear to school, which never agreed with what *I* wanted to wear (girly clothes versus borderline goth/early grunge look) and you had a recipe for disaster.
Most shopping trips would end with me huddled on the floor of a dressing room in hysterical tears, with my mom frustrated and exhausted.
Even as an adult, I never enjoyed clothes shopping. I called myself a "low-maintenance" woman and wore over-sized sweatshirts and sloppy clothes. Shoes, purses, belts and accessories did not exist in my closet. I just never invested in my appearance. My professional wardrobe was a horror. My mom, who loves to shop and can spot a shoe sale like she has built-in radar, would often invite me to go shopping with her and I know I zapped the joy of shopping out of the experience. She just couldn't get me to "play" with her and have fun shopping.
As I grew to care about and appreciate myself - love myself for who I am, no matter what - the shopping experience changed. I think the shift happened even before I had lost a lot of weight. All of a sudden I started buying brighter colored clothes. I started to tuck in my shirt tails and wearing belts! (SHOCKING!!)
Since the shift in my mind-set I've been shopping with my mom a few times, and the experiences have been a lot more pleasant than the shopping trips of yore, but last weekend was a blast! We tried on piles of clothes, explored every inch of the shop and just enjoyed each other's company, joking and laughing like life-long friends. It was a magical-fun day.
But that's not the only miracle! I mentioned in an earlier post that I was asked to model in a fashion show for a local charity. The charity has a HUGE thift shop and acres of really nice clothes. I am supposed to model selected items from the thrift store on a big run-way while benefactors and supporters of the charity look on. Imagine me, the girl who used to hide from her friends and wear dark clothing in hopes of disappearing into the scenery, as a model! My life REALLY HAS changed!
The fashion show is in mid-September and I went to the thrift store this week to go through the items volunteers set aside for the fashion show. I was to choose a casual and a formal outfit. The casual outfit was easy. I found a pair of jeans in a size and brand I knew looked good on me and paired it with a cute, artsy top. The formal outfit was a bit of a challenge, but I eventually found a slinky black number that I'll be wearing. (Me! In a slinky dress!!) All I need to do is find some accessories to go with the dress and a belt for the jeans and I'll be ready to go!
Here's the miracle: Not once but twice I went clothes shopping and had a blast!
Here's the challenge that comes with the miracle: I have to stay the same size until September! The volunteer who helped me select my outfits told me that I can change my mind about what I'm wearing over the next couple of weeks, but that I'm eventually going to have make a firm selection so they can write up the outfit descriptions for the event. The slinky dress would still work if I dropped another size, but size 12s are already hanging off me and I'm not sure those jeans would look very good if I lost more inches.
So when I get to Wilson Chiropractic next week I need to have another talk with my coach and see what she suggests. My next few weeks of posts may or may not be about maintaining instead of reducing my size. We'll see what happens. I'm thinking of switching my posts headers from announcing my weight to announcing my fat ratio.
Another miracle: I opened my home to my eight year old niece for a full week! Not only have I been having fun playing with her, but we biked to work together this morning. (She's attending art camp.) In the past she would have stayed with my mom and might have stayed a single night under my roof. She was five or six the last time she stayed at my house and I didn't have much energy for her. She was bored! Last night, I think I outlasted her in the energy department! I'm a much better aunt than I ever was. Today, after work we're going to play in a water feature at a local park!
Have a wonderful, miracle-filled week!!