Week 31, 184 lbs.

People say the darndest things to formerly fat people:

"You're half the person you used to be"

"Well, you're just going to dry up and blow away!"

"You're a shadow of your former self."

"If you turn sideways we won't be able to see you!"

I hear statements like these several times each day and I hate to admit it, but they are starting to irritate me.   I know people are mostly well-intentioned and are expressing amazement at my recent transformation, but I am amazed at how many of these statements have a unintended negative tone. 

The comments don't cause a huge irritation and I don't get upset about them, but they do give me pause every time I hear one of these statements.

It's as if by losing weight, they're saying I have somehow become less of a presence than I was before.  The other day I got the "shadow" comment for the umpteenth time and responded with an enthusiastic, "Not at all! I am finally out of the shadows and am more vibrant than ever."  I think that surprised the lady I was talking to.

It's true!  I am living out loud for the first time in my life.  Already I am halfway to fulfilling one of the New Year's resolutions I made in the earlier posts.(One exhibit down, one more to go!)  My art is on display in a gallery in the art center where I work!  I had to scramble to get it together, but my spirit balls, vessels and assemblage art are all on display for the world to see. 

I've shown my art publicly in the past and have even sold my work, but I want to do more with it.  So when a friend was looking for artists to participate in a joint exhibit at the center and offered me a space I took it.... and then made myself follow through.

I am putting pictures of some of my work here on the blog: Two spirit balls and my assemblage, "A Curious Lichen."  The assemblage is a piece of wood with colored glass balls growing out of it.  It's strange, but it's what I wanted to do.

Now that I feel tons better than I have in years, I want to be more present in the world, to be more active and alive.  I want to build my artistic skills and create more often.  As Wayne Dyer once said, "I don't want to die with my music still inside of me."

My art is just one small aspect of my life.  I am growing in so many other areas, too.

I am not a shadow of who I used to be. I am not drying up.  I am not less of a person and I am certainly not about to disappear!

I'm out of hiding, folks.... so the world had better take notice!