So close... so close! I am almost under 200!! I can't remember the last time I weighed under 200. It must have been the late 80s or early 90s - the days of acid wash blue jeans and big hair.
I got home from my weigh in about 45 minutes ago. The weather has turned cold and let me tell you, I feel the cold like never before!! I've been so well insulated for so many years that I never really felt the cold. In the past I used to celebrate freeze warnings because that meant I would finally stop sweating. Now, I'm bundling up and shivering!
When I got to the house I scrambled to my closet to dig out an old comfy sweater and a pair of pajama pants. My old favorite green flannel pajama pants look like clown pants they're so big! The drawstring won't cinch any tighter, so it's about time to retire these old friends. The sweater, which hasn't been worn since last winter is so big I look like a little kid borrowing an older sibling's clothes. I had to giggle at myself when I caught sight of my image in the full length mirror.
I feel so good! All week long I've been wearing size 16 pants that a friend gave me. I don't think I've ever been a size 16. When I was in my early 20s, my weight started ballooning so fast that I jumped right over a few sizes before I landed on 18 and held fast. From age 25 until age 38, I was a size 18.... and then I started REALLY growing. I am now smaller than any of the "I'll hang on to these for when I loose weight" clothes that I've been hoarding in the back of my closet for decades.
I visited my brother in Austin this week and got to see my six-year-old niece, Scarlett. Scarlett hasn't seen me in several months and when she first saw me she didn't know who I was. She stared at me for a few long seconds before she recognized me.
"You're doing your hair different! That's why I didn't know you!" she said.
I told her I look different because I used to be really fat and now I'm not so big. Her answer was, "I really like you skinny!"
I like me skinny, too!
My job as an art center manager keeps me in the public eye. I work with several volunteers and people in the community and it's funny to see the reactions of the folks who haven't seen me in a few months.
Word has gotten out in the community about how much my appearance has changed and some people are even making pilgrimages into the art center to check me out and congratulate me. I feel like one of the exhibits! It's really strange to have five people standing around in your office, staring at you and talking amongst themselves about much younger/prettier/happier/healthier you look!! Today one of the volunteers said "I can't stop staring at you, you look so different!"
I've spent so many years hiding from people that I really don't know how to handle the new attention. When people tell me how good I look, I've started responding with, "Thank you, I feel good!"
So next week, if the world cooperates, I'll make a long anticipated return to the 100s! I can't wait! I think it's time for another photo comparison! Stay tuned!!
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