Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Week 19, 214 lbs.

Well, crap. 

I am not going to beat up on myself, but I am going to own up to making bad decisions this week.  I worked LONG hours this weekend.  I didn't plan ahead so I would have easy access to the diet foods.  Instead of waiting until I got home I ate what was convenient at work: foods that were full of sugar and carbs. I was hungry and exhausted and my reslove crumbled.

I knew what I was doing when I did it, but didn't think it would make a difference in the long run.  I cheated before and still lost weight, right?  The times I've gone "off diet" before I either lost a pound or two or nothing at all.  This is the first time I've ever added extra pounds and lost ground. 

Here's what I think made the difference:
  1. Because of rain and the after dark hours I was working, I didn't bike to work like I usually do. I wasn't doing anything to burn off the extra stuff I was eating.
  2. When I ate something off diet it was something that had lots of sugar, fat or carbs in it.
  3. When I came home late, I ate a restricted protein because it was convenient rather than an unrestricted - adding even more calories to my intake.
  4. I wasn't eating my 2 cups of veggies with the evening meal
So I made some bad choices and had to face the consequences when I stepped on the scale yesterday.  I know what went wrong.  I can't undo the bad choices I've already made but I can make darn sure I don't do it again.  Every day is a new day, after all!

Even so, the week wasn't a total wash!  My weight may have gone up two pounds, but my body fat ratio dropped a couple of points!  I think this is because I didn't go completely off diet.  There were two nights this week I indulged.  The rest of the week I was on track.  I am within 10 points of getting my body fat ratio into the "acceptable" level.  My aim is to get to the "healthy" level.

Something interesting I noticed during this week was how my body reacts to sugar.  This shouldn't surprise me since diabetes runs in my family and I've already noticed how much better I feel now that I am eating healthier, but it surprised me all the same.  I was surprised at how tired sugar made me after I ate it.  A lot of people I know will grab something sweet when they need a pick-me-up, and it probably helps for the short term....  but after the initial rush burns off it makes me sluggish and tired.  I didn't like the way I felt afterwards - it was kind of like a hangover! 

It's a good bet that I won't be eating a lot of sugar when I am finally at my goal.  As bad as eating it made me feel I know going back to it will only make me sick and slow again.  If I want to hang on to this feeling of being alive and happy, I need to put the right kind of fuel in my body.

Lesson learned!

The one "little victory" I experienced this week was when I was approved to take some time off to go to the Texas Renaissance Faire in November.  The faire used to be one of my favorite places on earth.  I had a closet full of costumes and would make a new outfit for myself every year as the "faire" season was getting started.  I even worked there as a vendor for a couple of years.

It has been six years since I've been to faire.  I've missed it but have lacked the energy to go.  I also didn't want people to see how HUGE I'd gotten.   Now that I have a sleek new shape and feel better I'm ready to return to my old stomping grounds.  I went through my closet to discover all my old costumes were too big for me!!  The only things that fit me are some of my really early outfits that date back to 1995-1998. 

This week I gave the old outfits away and treated myself to a fancy new court dress - the kind of dress I admired on others but never felt I could pull it off.  As one of my "friends" pointed out years and years ago at faire - my stomach stuck out further than my breasts.  Ouch.

Today my stomach is shrinking and measures smaller than my breastline, thank you very much.  The ordered dress arrived yesterday and I look fantastic in it, if I do say so myself! I am so excited about going I can barely contain myself!!

Have a great week!

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